


The Ultimate Prank

by siriuslyscattered



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 14:54:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13483854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriuslyscattered/pseuds/siriuslyscattered
Summary: A circle of pranks bites one of the Marauders in the backside





	The Ultimate Prank

The end of the year was known for a couple things at Hogwarts. The last few weeks were full of mostly silence and the occasional breakdowns by students as they prepared for OWLs, NEWTs , and exams. The last few days were known as the time when no student was safe from the Marauders' pranks. It was their sixth year at school, yet even the older students knew to watch every little thing or else suffer a practical joke from the group of friends. Paranoia was at an all-time high this year.  
  
What the school did not know this year was about the small fights breaking out within the group of friends. Ever since James actually succeeded to ask Lily on a date over the hols Sirius had yet to shut up. Sirius had a tendency to tease, mock, and make simply cruel remarks about how none of it was going to work out. Of course James, who had been waiting what seemed like forever to actually date Lily Evans, did not like this at all. Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin could only hope it was all over one night after a particularly explosive confrontation between their two best mates.  
  
The room was almost empty except for the Marauders and the few who were pulling late night study spurts. Each Gryffindor had tried deliberately to not look up from their book. The last thing wanted was for the Marauders to realise they were there and pull one of their infamous pranks on them. Remus Lupin was doing some studying of his own, nestled in a couch by the fire and scratching the top of his nose, stifling laughter as he picked out the truth and lies from one of the newer books on werewolves. Peter Pettigrew lay on the floor, the book spread open before him but his watery eyes vacant as he stared at the fire. His attention span was horrible these days. Sirius Black had his legs thrown over one couch, a smirk on his face and a book on his lap so he could feign innocence.  
  
"SIRIUS OCTAVIAN BLACK, HOW BLOODY _DARE_ YOU!" James' voice could have been heard all the way down to the dungeons as he rushed down the stairs. His teeth were clenched together in annoyance, his fists balled up. He would have started swinging immediately if Lily hadn't told him how much she hated fighting. He kept thinking the exception would be for Sirius though. Even Lily had to approve of a swift knock on the nose for this one. He had simply gone too far this time. "What do you think you're on about, telling Lily I'm canceling? SIX YEARS! Six bloody years I've waited for her to actually say yes to me and she goes and tells me you had given her the message 'I enjoyed the chase more than the actual prize!' Whatever the bloody hell _that_ means!"  
  
It infuriated James how Sirius kept on smiling his arrogant smile, his fingers caressing the book absentmindedly. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He did not even try an innocent look this time. He knew it would fail.  
  
"LIKE BLOODY HELL!" James growled, rushing to the chair and attempting to strangle his best mate. Friendship could only go so far sometimes. Peter stared up at the sight in shock as Remus leaped over him, grabbing James' arms and trying to push the boys apart.  
  
"James!" Oh no. All the Marauders almost groaned as they recognised the female voice. Well, the exception being Sirius who could only smirk, knowing exactly how much Lily disliked violence these days.  
  
"Well hello Lil, don't _you_ look amazingly beautiful today!" The shit-eating grin on Sirius' face was almost enough to make James forget Lily was there and pop him one for good measure.  
  
Instead he managed to squash down the feeling and wrestle his hands away from Remus, tucking them into his pockets as he looked down in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Lily. It's just..."  
  
A resounding slap echoed through the silence of the Gryffindor common room. The world seemed to stand still as everybody stared at the fiery-headed girl glaring down upon her victim. The fire crackled, spitting an ember at the floor. Peter let out a yelp as another fell on his arm. At least it broke the students out of their trance.  
  
Sirius held a hand to his face, genuinely shocked she had hit him. Lily Evans had actually slapped Sirius Black. There went his reputation.  
  
Lily, not ashamed in the least, held her hands on her hips, towering over the sitting Sirius. "You are _never_ to try and get between James and I again, do you understand me? You _will_ pay for this, Sirius Black." She swirled on her heel, her long red hair almost whipping the boy in the face as she stomped up the stairs to the girls' dorms. James scurried up into his own room, most likely to do a victory dance. For a moment it had looked like he would follow Lily, but everybody could see the moment it registered in his mind he was not allowed up there and would only slide back down when the stairs changed.  
  
"Well... I never." Sirius imitated his mother, glaring at the students who were still staring at him in shock. "What the bloody hell are _you_ looking at?"

 

* * *

  
  
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Severus was by the door, his body stiff as he watched his red-haired lady friend work on a potion he thought was quite silly. "I think you've spent too much time around Potter." The sneer in his voice was evident near the end, putting all of his loathing into the name.  
  
Lily Evans had not asked his help when she entered the room. She did not even ask to see his book. All she did was pull it from under his studious eyes, earning her a look made of confusion, hurt, and annoyance. He despised having people mess with his books, especially when he was reading it at the time. Of course Lily knew she could get away with it. So she had muttered a brief apology and taken the book to another worktable in the small Potions room. Severus often was allowed room to work on potions; he found it very easy to access things when all he had to do was attend one of Slughorn's parties the one night a month required.  
  
His dark, intelligent eyes watched as Lily set to work, moving ingredients, cutting herbs, and lighting a flame under her cauldron. "This is childish, Lily."  
  
"All year those idiots cause trouble. _Every year_ they get to have fun, performing practical jokes. I like Remus, he's intelligent and very friendly-" _And a werewolf._ Severus thought to himself as she went on. "Peter is sweet, if you manage to ignore the fact he has a stalking problem. James.... Well, you know." _Yes, I bloody well know!_ He growled under his breath, sneering at the thought of Potter. Still she went on. "But Sirius.. Ooooh ! He just makes me so bloody angry. Not even popping him a good one is enough for him. Oh no. He deserves _more_."  
  
If Severus were any other student at Hogwarts he would be shocked. They only knew what they thought Lily to be. She was no saint though. He of all people knew it. He had witnessed the many times she had pulled tricks upon her sister. There was a very good reason Petunia despised magic. His eyes slid across the dark room, making sure his things were packed up. "Well, what ever you do, clean up before you leave." Severus managed not to sound particularly annoyed as he turned to leave the room. Such a childish potion. What a waste of ingredients.

 

* * *

  
  
The school was excited in its last week, mostly due to the announcement made by Headmaster Dumbledore of a ball which would be happening. The exams were over and it would be a type of celebration for all who passed their various exams. Not to mention those who would be leaving. It was hard to find a date on such short notice though.  
  
Sirius Black, with his good looks and popularity, had easily managed to snag a date with one of the girls leaving this year. A seventh year Hufflepuff, she was beautiful to all the boys. Blonde hair and blue eyes oddly reminiscent of his own cousin, Sirius had chosen her as a sort of trophy. She had no brains and seemed to only care about the latest gossip. He would have to find a way to spell her mouth shut. James Potter was, of course, seen kissing Lily Evans in the halls. Many of the girls were upset he was off the market, but it was obvious there could not be a more popular couple. Remus Lupin had managed to obtain a date with a pretty little Ravenclaw . With long black hair and a gift for intelligent conversation, many thought the two would likely last into the next year. Even Peter Pettigrew had found a date with another Gryffindor . Well, it was more like he was tricked into it. A large, overbearing girl from their year had managed to pressure him into asking her to the ball. He had no choice but agree.  
  
With all of the school gossiping and buzzing with excitement for the ball, it was easy for Lily Evans to put her plan into action. The afternoon of the ball the students at Gryffindor table were moving everywhere. Their lunches were barely touched as they spoke of what was to happen on their last night at school. The Marauders were trying to figure out who to prank at the ball. It seemed unreal how easily Lily managed to slip the potion into Sirius' drink.  
  
"Don't worry about the joke, Sirius. I have it covered." James winked at Lily as she slid the empty vial back into her robes. After the fight between the three a few weeks ago, Sirius had managed to apologise to both of them. Neither had forgiven him of course. Lily had even told James of her plan. He approved.  
  
"What is it?" Sirius looked between the two, disturbed by the discomforting feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something was not right.  
  
"A surprise." James' grin was enough to worry Sirius. He had little time to worry over it before his eyes settled on the approaching figure of his date.  
  
"Bloody hell. Tell her I'm off to get ready. For the love of Merlin, that bird doesn't know how to shut her trap." With that order to his friends, Sirius threw both legs over the bench and set off on a fast walk out of the Great Hall, towards the sanctuary of Gryffindor Tower.

* * *

  
  
The evening was turning out to be one of Sirius Black's worst. One moment he had been dressed up handsomely, waiting for his date and smiling as she arrived. He had fingered his collar once to adjust it and felt something oddly different about it. The next thing he knew the bloody bird was shrieking, asking if this was all some sort of joke. Sirius could only stare at her in confusion, her cries attracting most of the Hufflepuff common room. "Stupid fucking bint ," were the only words to escape him before he turned and left in a huff of indignation. Why had they all been laughing? He felt humiliated and had no idea as to why.  
  
Or at least he hadn't until he caught his reflection in the gleam of the knights armor. White fur was all over him, so to speak. He was in a bunny suit. His wonderful, expensive dress robes had actually become a bloody bunny suit. Downright pissed, he remembered his best mate's earlier comment. James was _dead_.

 

* * *

  
  
It was no surprise that an hour later Sirius Black found himself sitting in an empty potions classroom during the ball. A form of punishment by Professor McGonagall once she caught him attacking his best mate. He made a 'humph' noise and crossed his arms over his chest, sliding down in his seat. It was childish, but he no longer cared. He barely noticed when the door opened again and a familiar slimy git was led in the room. Snape? In detention? What the bloody hell!  
  
"I greatly appreciate this, Snape." Was that Slughorn's voice? Oh bloody hell, McGonagall had said something about him watching over the punishment. Sirius' head craned to see the large Professor Slughorn looking particularly amused by all of this. It still didn't explain what Slimy Snivellus was doing in the room though. "I know you did not mean to do it, but think of this as an opportunity to take a burden off my shoulders."  
  
"Do not worry, Professor, I will keep an eye on him. Enjoy the ball, Professor." Snape was mumbling as he moved to sit down into the chair next to Sirius. He took a hat he had been wearing, a good idea to hide that disgusting hair of his, and set it upon his knee. Slughorn's pudgy face lit up with a smile, giving them both a broad wink as he shut the door.  
  
"What the bloody hell just happened?" Sirius' eyes were glued to the door, his mind reeling from the last few moments. None of this was making any sense to him. Slowly, he registered it. He was sitting, in detention, alone with Snivellus next to him. His eyes settled on the boy next to him. Despite his greasy hair. Snape did look particularly dressed up.  
  
"Professor Slughorn asked, since I was here anyways, if I would keep an eye over you in detention." The smirk on Snivellus' face was one Sirius wanted to knock off. He was taunting him. Why the bloody hell was the git so close to him anyways? "Wonderful choice of outfit, Black. I was not aware this ball was a costume party."  
  
"That's _it_!" Sirius let out a barking growl, turning fast enough in his chair to knock it over. Snivellus was knocked down to the floor as he fought back, their legs entwined in a mess of boyish angles, both trying to wrestle for dominance and move off the floor. The second chair was knocked down as Sirius managed to grab Snape's hair, jerking it back.  
  
When the tussle was done Sirius sat on Severus' stomach, a leg on side as he held him to the ground. "Plead mercy." Sirius' fingers were still locked in the slimy hair. The arrogant smirk on Sirius' face only seemed to fuel Snape's stubbornness.  
  
For a moment all Severus could think of was the possibilities this situation could end in. He looked up at his enemy, his lips twisting upward in a mocking manner. He did not anticipate the words which came next, but he did not mind them. "Make me." His hips had moved upward, rolling against the fabric of Sirius' little furry suit. He laughed as the dark eyes widened, surprised at the Slytherin's action.  
  
Neither boys were really sure who had acted first. Sirius' fingers were still holding Snape's greasy hair, his teeth sinking into the pale neck bared before him. Snape was groaning, barely holding back throwing his hips up against Black's again. "Sodding hell, do you have to act like a rabbit too, Black?"  
  
Severus lips parted in another husky groan as Sirius' teeth bit down rather harshly on his collarbone. He whimpered when he felt the Gryffindor's tongue licking at the swollen, red spot. The idiot always had to try and make a fool of him. Severus' hands slid into the hair beneath the bunny ears, jerking at it harshly and bringing Sirius' lips to his. Their mouths melded in a rush of heat, their tongues invading each other's mouth in a fight for dominance. Both knew they had an equal chance of coming on top, so to speak. Severus' legs kicked out from under Sirius, knocking the boy to the side as their mouths parted. Both boys were breathing raggedly, arousal strong in the air.  
  
"This isn't going to work." Severus stared down at the boy in the bunny suit, the ears now pulled down to expose the shaggy black hair.  
  
"We'll make it work." Sirius' voice was harsh, his own dark eyes meeting with Severus', communicating his lust. What the bloody hell had been done to him? Severus was in the process of making a mental note to yell at Lily later when he found himself on his back once again. This time he did not mind so much since Sirius was pressing both their hips together, an odd form of angles as they thrust and rolled against each other, desperate for more.  
  
"Black." Severus growled, pushing the other boy backwards, their eyes once again meeting in a clash of heated arousal. "Just fuck me."  


 

* * *

  
  
Lily Evans and James Potter had been trying to enjoy their night at the ball together, despite the feeling of guilt. Twice, James had almost been beat up tonight. First by Sirius who was accusing James of the deed Lily had performed, then by Snape who was more than pissed off after the public appearance of James and Lily snogging on the way to the ball. Both boys were sent off to detention. Lily felt an odd twist of panic as her friend was taken to the dungeons to spend time with James' best mate. Unfortunately, halfway through the ball Lily and James realised they had to do something. The appearance of Slughorn meant the two boys were alone and...  
  
"James... The potion was meant to make the victim act like a bunny too." Lily's voice was thin as her eyes widened, realising just what that meant. "James! Sirius is going to attack Severus!"  
  
"What? No he isn't. Sirius hates the bloody bastard." Once again, Lily's hand had met the face of a Marauder, this time her boyfriend.  
  
"JAMES! The potion was also an aphrodisiac! It was a side effect! We have to GO!" James, absolutely horrified by the thought of Sirius shagging Snivellus, pulled Lily by the hand as they rushed towards the dungeons.

 

* * *

  
  
Lily and James stared in shock at the image before them. The bunny suit was draped over Sirius and Severus' naked bodies. James' hand was covering his eyes and his face was unnaturally pale with sickness. Lily found herself having to support James, knowing he was more squeamish than her sometimes.  
  
"Sirius... Severus... Oh Merlin, I'm sorry." Lily's eyes welled up with tears. "The potion.... A side-effect was an aphrodisiac." She winced, waiting for them to both attack her. James just barely wobbled, trying not to look at his best mate naked with their enemy.  
  
"I know. Snivellus told me everything." Sirius' voice was perfectly calm.  
  
Lily's eyes widened in shock, looking at the cocky smirk on Severus' face. "What?"  
  
"Your potion was to turn him into a rabbit, Lily. Come on, you're smarter than that." Severus was chuckling, a foreign sound to all around. His mouth nuzzled at Sirius' throat. "No bunny suit."  
  
"You... You? You messed with my potion!" Lily was torn between being hurt and relieved. Over all though, she was confused. So why were Sirius and Severus still snuggling? Wait...  
  
"My potion was _only_ for the bunny suit, Lily."  
  
"You _bastard_!" Lily spun, leaving the room and James fell onto the floor with a thud. He was such a girl sometimes. Sirius and Severus both laughed, staring at the unconscious figure before them.  
  
"Never again, Snivellus. Never. Bloody. Again."  
  
"Oh shut up, Black. You loved it."  
  
"Sneaky bastard."  
  
"You love it."  
  
James' eyes had started to flutter open, his head raising just as he observed Sirius Black and Severus Snape's mouths meet in another rush of lust. The only sound afterwards was of his head cracking against the floor as he fainted once more.


End file.
